


Daily Life: Levi

by PotatoSlayer



Series: Valley in the Shadow of Death [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-12-07 01:30:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18228083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PotatoSlayer/pseuds/PotatoSlayer
Summary: This chapter takes place during the winter while Kana and crew were still trainees.





	1. Fever

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter takes place during the winter while Kana and crew were still trainees.

Levi frowned when he opened up the front door and the first thing he saw was a pile of clean but unfolded clothes turned over from the back of the couch. He narrowed his eyes and pulled his shoes off, seeing a pile of the clothes moving around. He plucked the sweater off the little being to reveal Itski staring up at him. She let out a squeal and took off running. He sighed and huffed. Walking on into the kitchen he saw dirty dishes were everywhere and trash was strung across the floor. What he noticed first was the roll of toilet paper that strung across the kitchen, into the dining room, back through the living room and down the hall. He followed it to find Camden was wrapping up one of Itski’s dolls with it. He narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, demanding, “What do you think you’re doing?” 

Camden gasped and shot straight under the bed. He came out a moment later with a tiny piece of metal from the frame of the bed. He pointed it at Levi and growled, “You returned!” 

He rolled his eyes and plucked the boy up by the back of his shirt, avoiding his swings with the weak little piece of metal. When he got close to his face, Levi caught it and demanded, “Where is your sister?” 

“I’ll never tell!” He screamed, kicking his legs. 

“Tell or I’ll bury you.” Levi snapped, dropping him on the bed. 

“She was on the couch last I saw.” Camden stated, sticking his tongue out at Levi as he turned and walked back towards the living room. He was tensed and ready to scold Kana for letting the place become such a disaster when he had it all nice and clean yesterday. But when he rounded the couch, what he saw had him stopping in his tracks. 

Kana was curled up under a pile of blankets with a sick and coughing Aya held close to her chest. Each time the little girl coughed, Kana’s body twitched in her sleep and brought the frail being closer to her chest. He could tell just by looking at the little one that her fever had gotten much worse. Her nose was a bright red and her skin was pale. With a soft sigh, Levi pulled his poncho off and tossed it over the shoulders of the two girls, tucking Aya in as close as he could. 

For the rest of his evening he returned to cleaning the place back up, several times having to force Itski and Camden to go back to their rooms so they weren’t tearing things all up again. While picking up all of the strung out clothes in the living room, he paused when he saw Kana shift a bit and open her eyes. He set the basket back down and knelt in front of the couch as she looked over at him. 

“Heichou…” Kana mumbled, rubbing her eyes. “When did you get here?” 

“A few hours ago.” Levi answered. “But you realize how big of a pig-sty you let those kids make this place in a day? I was here last night and had picked up your mess and now it’s already back to being filthy. You’re a terrible house keeper.” 

“Sorry… I’ve been… Aya’s gotten really sick and – “ 

“I know. I already spoke with a doctor. He’ll be coming out soon to look at her.” Levi stated, watching her as she sat up a bit. When she started to get on up, he reached out, cupping her cheek and brushing his thumb along the side of her face. “Stay laying down. I’m sure you’ve exhausted yourself worrying about her. And she’ll get cold if you get up.” 

“But…” Kana started when he gave her a sharp glare before standing up. Kana immediately winced and said, “Yes Captain.” 

Levi watched her a minute, watching as the caring woman curled herself back up around Aya, pulling her tiny forehead against her on. When Kana pulled the top blanket up higher, her eyes widened a bit when she realized it was his poncho. She looked up at him and whispered, “Thank you so much, Levi… I’m not sure what I’d do without you…” 

His cheeks darkened in color a bit and he turned away, snapping, “Don’t say stupid things like that.” 

 

A little later, the doctor arrived and Levi made himself scarce. The kind man took his time examining the tiny child while Kana sat impatiently on the coffee table. After a while he gave Kana a syrup that she could give Aya as well as a couple blankets that could be heated up over a fire to keep her warm. Kana thanked him repeatedly and asked, “How much do I owe you for the visit? I don’t have much so I might – “ 

“Oh. It’s already covered. I thought your captain would have said something.” The doctor stated as he pulled his jacket and hat back on. He continued, “He said something about you weren’t keeping up on your tasks because you were so worried about your sister. He paid for it so that you could get back to work.” 

Kana’s blush darkened and she looked away, pulling at the collar of her shirt. There he was again, helping her out so much. “Th-thanks. I’ll make sure to tell him thanks as well.” 

“It’s my pleasure. I enjoy helping people. If it were financially plausible, I’d love to be able to do this kind of thing for free. But I just have the supplies to do everything I’d like. Stay warm. Let me know if your sister gets any worse.” 

“Yessir.” As soon as the doctor was gone, Kana walked down the hall, seeing a statuesque Levi with his attention focused on the wall away from her. He had his arms locked across the chest and the most evil glare in his eyes. To anyone else, she was sure that he probably looked pissed off, angry, and intimidating. But to her, he just looked like a child that had gotten busted. She had never found him scary like other people had. “Thank you, Levi…” 

His eyes narrowed more and he snapped, “Well it’s true. You weren’t keeping up on anything. You weren’t cleaning or – “ His eyes widened when she suddenly stepped closer to him and rested her forehead against his. He hated that she was just a little taller than him, but whenever she did this, he completely forgot about all the things that he hated. It was only being close with her like this that he thought about the things that he didn’t hate. 

Her hands slid down his arms, squeezing his wrists and causing them to untighten from his chest. It was like, without words, she could guide his body to do everything she ordered without protest. Between the two of them, when they were alone, he certainly wasn’t the captain. Once his arms fell limp at his sides, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him in close. He was a puppet and she was the marionette controlling every action of his, to the point he almost felt like their minds were completely connected. She squeezed him so tightly he felt like if he pulled away she would fall apart. His gaze softened as he realized it felt like she was trying to tell him that she needed him as much as he needed her. He felt his breathing hitch. “Kana…” 

“Sorry. I just wanted to tell you thank you.” Kana whispered, her head resting now against the crook of his neck. Her warm words fell upon his skin and it caused a happy shiver to run through him. His grip on her tightened as he leaned more against the wall, letting her hold onto him however she needed. Though he knew the Kana of this time wouldn’t know it, but she didn’t have to ask him if anything was okay. Whatever she wanted or needed, it was hers. He owed her everything he was and everything he would ever be. “Heichou… I wish… you would realize that you don’t have to lie to me.” His eyes widened and she added, “I don’t know why you feel the need to hide your true feelings, but whatever the reason, it doesn’t apply to me. If it’s cause you don’t trust people, then you can trust me. If it’s cause you’re afraid to be vulnerable, then I will protect you when you are. So please, just be honest and open with me… that’s all I ask. And it’s fine, just with me… you don’t have to be around anyone else.” 

Levi stayed absolutely still for the longest time, his eyes closed, listening to the way she breathed, memorizing the way she held him. How soft her skin was, but how tight her grip on him remained. She was so tender and strong all at the same time. His arms wrapped as gently as possible around her lower back, bringing her body up against his more entirely. She pulled her head back so she could look at him, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders. Her face was flushed in the softest shade of pink and there were questions in her eyes. So many questions that he felt he probably couldn’t answer. He reached up, brushing her hair back out of her face and whispered tenderly, “Alright. If you’ll please stop addressing me so formally when it’s just us.” 

A beautiful smile curved her lips and she responded with, “You’d rather me just use your name huh?” 

“When we’re alone, I don’t want to be your captain anymore.” He told her. What he didn’t tell her was his reasoning. When they were together so long ago, he wasn’t her captain. They were just two lovers with nothing but each other. They were their entire world. There was no formality or anything like that. He wanted so desperately to go back to that. So whatever little thing they could make happen, he wanted it. He wanted them back. 

Kana froze when his thumb brushed her chin and then her bottom lip. She stared at him, a little shock in her eyes before they warmed, that blood crimson became molten lava right before his eyes. She whispered, “You’ll always be my captain. I don’t want that to change.” 

He resisted biting the inside of his cheek. It appeared on this subject, they didn’t feel the same. He tipped his head up and brushed his lips against her forehead, his words little more than a tender whisper, “If that’s what you want, Kana.” Kana seemed to be leaning more into him as his lips came back down towards hers. He felt a tingle of fear stab through him and it caused him to turn his head away last moment. 

As though having expected it, he felt her lips curve into a smile against his jaw and she brought her head to rest back against his shoulder. Her gaze turned towards the outside and she stated, “It’s snowing outside.” 

“Great.” He kept his arms around her body but he looked over, seeing the little white fluffs slowly falling until they hit the ground. He pursed his lips. That meant it was going to be freezing cold tonight. He reluctantly pulled away from Kana and headed for the chimney. He told her, “I’ll get a fire started in the fireplace.” 

Like a puppy with no other place to go, Kana walked quickly after him, reaching out to his jacket and softly brushing her fingers against his back and asking, “Will you let me make dinner tonight, since you’ve been doing all these other things for us?” 

Levi frowned and his eye brows pinched together. He started to tell her that he really didn’t mind but before he could say anything, Camden screamed down the hall way. “Don’t do it! I don’t want to die!” 

Kana gasped and she whirled around, grabbing the boy as he screamed and tried to get away. Kana wrapped him in an armlock and gave him a noogie hard enough that his screams were cut off into squeal of laughter and pain. “You’re gonna die anyway, but it’s gonna be on an empty stomach instead!” 

“I don’t particularly want to eat such shitty food either.” Levi agreed. 

Kana turned back to him and glared, but it didn’t last long. When she saw his face, and that cutest little smile there, her heart absolutely melted. She should take offense to him picking on her cooking, but she couldn’t. The sight of his smile like that was enough to cause her breath to choke off in her throat. Her gaze warmed more and she said, “Okay, then I’ll tuck the kiddies in.” 

“No! I don’t want you to tuck me in either!” Camden whined. 

Kana glared down at him and shouted, “Shut up you ungrateful little twerp!” 

Levi laughed. Laughed. And pried the small child from her arms and said, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of them, too.” 

“But… I want to help, too – “ Kana started but she gasped when he reached out with his free hand and mussed her hair. She made a pathetic noise and looked up at him. 

The look in those crimson eyes seemed to shatter his whole world. It was like she was wanting to impress him, help him, make something up to him, and about a hundred other things all in one. He gave her a smirk and said, “You’re busy enough.” 

“With what?” Kana asked. 

“Well, putting up with me is a full time job.” Levi mussed her hair once more and then said, “And you need to get back to Aya and keep her warm. Let me spoil you for the night, okay?” 

“Don’t you always?” Kana asked. 

“Yeah. Don’t tell anyone though.” Levi ordered, putting Camden down and ordering him to go back to his room. 

Just like a captain should.


	2. Risk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place between the first loss against the female titan and the capture of her before the first "fall" of wall rose.

Kana grumbled, taking the scrub brush and trying as hard as she could to clean up the mess. The kids had been squealing and getting wound up and spilled Aya’s orange juice all over the floor between the coffee table and the couch. She hated orange juice. But more than she hated orange juice, she hated herself for making a sharp comment about Levi always cleaning everything.  
She let out a grunt when he rested his feet on her back. He was sitting on the couch reading the newspaper while she cleaned up the mess herself. She glared up at him. “What if I didn’t clean it? Are you telling me that it wouldn’t bother you? Not at all?”  
Levi glared at her. “I’ve been cleaning up after your siblings for months. You can start carrying your own weight, stupid.”  
Kana’s glare darkened and she threw the soaking wet cloth at him. It slid off his face, wiping away any humor that had ever been there before. She growled at his angry face. “Don’t call me stupid.”  
He set the newspaper down, his glare becoming more intense. He picked up the cloth and wadded it up. When Kana realized he was going to throw it back at her, she quickly ducked back under his feet and took off running across the living room. He threw the cloth at her but she easily ran into the hall and avoided it.  
She laughed as she leaned back past the wall. “You might be a great titan killer, but your aim sucks.”  
He scoffed and jumped up, running after her. She let out a playful squeal and ran down the hall away from him. But being as he was smaller and lighter, he quickly caught up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back. She laughed as she desperately clawed at the door frame, trying to pull away from him, but he was too strong.  
She let go and they both fell over backwards. She rolled over so she was hovering over him. He was still glaring at her, but she couldn’t stop laughing. She stuck her tongue out at him. “You’re quick.”  
“You’re annoying.” Levi growled.  
Kana frowned and sat up on his stomach. Her blush was a little dark as she said, “Sorry. I don’t mean to be.”  
The glare dissolved from his expression and he leaned up to his elbows. “No. I don’t… mean that…”  
She suddenly started laughing and teased, “Got you~”  
He glared at her all over again and snapped, “Don’t do that to me.”  
“Aw why? Are you secretly a big softy?” Kana laughed and stood up, holding an arm down to him to help him up. Instead of using it to pull himself up, he jerked her back down and she fell on top of him once again.  
“If you don’t stop teasing me, I’ll make you regret it.” Levi snapped, holding her head against his neck. He felt her relax and slip her arms around him. He felt comforted, being wrapped around her existence. He found himself relaxing as well, right in the middle of the hall.  
Another bubble of a giggle escaped her. “I could never regret anything when it comes to you.” She lifted herself on up again, but he gave her questioning look, not understanding what she meant by what she was saying.  
She went back into the living room, picking up their mess. He got up as well as she stated, “I gotta run to the store and pick some stuff up for the kiddos. Want to join?”  
Levi looked away, his expression was measured as he answered, “I probably shouldn’t.”  
She frowned, tossing the cloth in the sink. “Oh yeah. We don’t want to spark any rumors…” She grumbled something about life being so unfair.  
He watched her as she went around, picking up things that the kids had strung out. He couldn’t stop himself as his eyes caressed her in a way he knew he never could. His arms were crossed, burying his hands against his chest to keep them from doing something he knew he shouldn’t. He warned her, “There’s a reason, you know?”  
“Huh?” Kana asked, looking at him with confusion written on her face, but her eyes were reserved.  
He told her, “You shouldn’t be so attached to me. We shouldn’t spend as much time together as we do.”  
She looked away, her eyes now flashing with frustration. It didn’t matter what expression was showing in those crimson eyes, whenever they flared, it made his heart race. If he cared about what was best for her, he’d leave and never come back.  
“And why not? What’s so wrong with it?” Kana demanded. “I get it. You’re my captain. And a captain shouldn’t have any personal connection to his squad.” She paused, sitting down on the coffee table. “It makes it harder on you, doesn’t it? It’s harder to make the right decisions on the battle field after playing house with me, right?”  
Levi leaned on the back of the couch. He couldn’t look at her. If he did, he’d give in and spill his heart out to her. “Yes. It does. But it’s too late to stop that now. My feelings for you are already what they are.”  
“Which… are what?” Kana asked, looking at the back of his head.  
He quickly changed subject. “And even if that wasn’t the main problem, there’s plenty of other reasons. Like the fact that I’m over ten years older than you.”  
Kana sighed and took the basket of laundry to the back room and as she passed him, she growled, “You could have just said ‘no, I don’t want to go to the store’.” She slammed the door behind her.  
Levi frowned. Of course. It seemed like any time the subject was brought up, he just upset her. It upset him, too, but one of them had to look out for their better good. Erwin had kept their relationship – or whatever it was – on the downlow, but they couldn’t afford to make it a public entity. As far as anyone should know, he didn’t even like her.  
But he couldn’t even fake that.  
He started to go to the door to talk to her, but the kid’s bedroom door opened. Itski wandered out, rubbing her eyes and making a mewling noise. She reached her arms up at him and he automatically lifted her up. Her little arms came around his neck and she nuzzled against him.  
He asked gently, “What are you doing up?”  
“I hear-ed a boom…” Itski whined. “Where is sissy…?”  
“She’s been cleaning up your mess all day.” Levi scolded softly. “Come on, lets get you back to bed.”  
“I don’t wanna…” Itski protested.  
Levi carried her back into the bedroom and lay her down next to Aya who was curled up around her pillow. Itski whimpered when he let her go but as soon as he tucked her in, she fell right back asleep. There was a rare warm smile on Levi’s lips as he stood back up and turned to leave the room, nearly running into Kana who was standing in the door way.  
She gave him a knowing look.  
“What?” He asked sharply.  
She put a finger to her lips, signaling him to be quiet as she ducked back out of the room. Levi followed, quietly closing the door. He asked again, “What was that look for?”  
“None of that crap matters to me.” She told him. “I just want to be able to spend time with you. I don’t care if other people will frown upon it or it will hinder killing titans or whatever. I don’t care. About any of it.”  
Levi looked away again. Honestly, neither did he. There was nothing more in this world he could want than to be beside her through everything. For the rest of his life. “Yeah but your opinion isn’t the only one that matters.” He realized she had changed into her pajamas and was sitting back on the coffee table, kicking her legs like an impatient child.  
She asked, “Will you stay the night again?”  
“Kana – “  
“Please…” She didn’t look at him, but she didn’t have to. He could feel the sad pathetic eyes no matter where they were turned. He just couldn’t deny her.  
He glared at her. “You have got to stop exploiting my weakness.”  
Kana gave him a devilish smile. He pushed off the wall and walked up to her, holding out his hand. “Come on, brat.”  
Kana hopped right up, wrapping her arms around his and clinging to him as they walked to the bedroom. She nuzzled her cheek against his shoulder. He avoided ever answering her question, and she didn’t really know for sure where their relationship stood, but it didn’t matter to her.  
She could touch him. He was real. He watched out for her and her sisters and brother. That was all that mattered to her. He felt like the missing link in her life. He was the attachment she needed to survive. And no matter how obnoxious or childish she was with him, he was always so gentle with her. But…  
She climbed into bed, feeling just like her sisters, being coddled by this man. She looked up at him as he pulled the blanket over her shoulders. One of these days she wished she’d muster up the nerve to ask him to stay in here with her. That’s what she wanted more than anything.  
…When her eyes met his, they were always full of sadness.  
“Heichou?” Kana whispered. He touched her shoulder, a silent order to just go to sleep. But for the first time, she ignored the orders given to her by her captain. She carefully reached up, barely touching the scarf around his neck before her fingers inched up, brushing his jaw.  
He stared at her, wide-eyed and frozen as though waiting. Waiting for something to happen. Her delicate fingers danced up to his lips. She touched them.  
She gasped when he grabbed her wrist and pinned her hand beside her head on her pillow. She closed her eyes and tensed up, expecting him to yell at her, but to her surprise. She felt soft, warm lips rest against her forehead. Her eyes widened, but she forbid herself from even breathing. She closed her eye when he leaned down again, brushing those tender lips over her eyelid.  
He kissed her nose…  
She waited; heart racing, blood pulsating rapidly through her body. She even turned her head back to look at him, but instead of kissing her lips, he pressed his face to her neck. She hadn’t realized he climbed onto the bed, hovering over her. With his grip still tight on her wrist, he growled, “Dammit, Kana…”  
She wasn’t sure how to respond to him. Wasn’t sure what his rough words meant. Wasn’t sure she wanted to know what they meant. Instead of trying to find out, she gushed, “Stay in here, please. Don’t leave me tonight.”  
She felt him grit his teeth and press his face more firmly against her neck. Under his breath, he cursed. “I can’t…”  
She turned her head away, trying to hold back the tears of disappoint. What a pathetic child she was. She had always been that way, though, crying in the face of rejection. She couldn’t figure out what they were…together. He had kissed her so few times, but he always acted worried and compassionate towards her.  
Were they even in a relationship? Could they even be in one? The night she confessed about being a Slayer, she felt was the only progress they had made. But now it only confused her more. Sometimes it felt like he wanted her, but other times, it felt like he wanted nothing to do with her.  
Once Kana got herself under control, she gave a sigh of defeat. “I know you can’t…”  
“Then why do you make me say it?” He demanded, pulling himself back up, over her again.  
“I keep hoping you’ll change your mind… just once.” Kana whimpered.  
Levi looked at her, but his expression was racked with pain and she regretted bringing up the topic again. He asked, “Why do you want to be with me so bad?”  
“Because…” Kana’s voice cracked as she choked on her own words. “I’m happy when I’m with you… and… even though I’m some stupid immortal being… I only feel safe when you’re around. I love seeing you with the kids, you make them happy too… I just… I just want to… Is it so wrong?”  
Levi’s eyes narrowed and he growled, “Yes it is, Kana… it is…” He rested his forehead on hers. “There are much better guys out there for you. Guys that can take care of you… that can promise you something.”  
She stared at him in shock. “What do you mean?”  
“I can’t give you anything you deserve.” He told her. “I have nothing left to give. I could die any day out there on that battlefield. I don’t want you getting attached to me only to have your heart shattered when I die.”  
The images dancing through her mind brought tears to her eyes. She could never… ever let him die. Ever. She shook her head and made a whimpering noise. “Then nothing is what I want, Levi, how can I make you understand. I don’t care about anything else! I lo – “  
He cut her off with the deepest kiss she’d ever felt. Every time his lips touched her, it felt like she could read his mind. All the things he wouldn’t allow himself to say she could hear when he kissed her. She kissed him back almost desperately. What would it take to make him understand that it was her that couldn’t figure it out?  
Why did he care about her? She was nothing but a girl. A headstrong girl with a dangerous weapon. There was nothing special about her. But those lips… oh those lips had her body begging for more. Her skin crawled with happiness the longer she felt them on her own.  
He pulled back for a moment. She reached up and grabbed his longer locks of hair and pulled him back on her once again. She nipped his bottom lip and he let out a rugged noise against her lips. She was losing her mind and she could feel, so was he.  
His hands were all over her, feeling every inch of her body. He ripped his lips away from her and panted, “Kana, we have to stop.”  
She looked away, her eyes swirling with regret. Why did she get her hopes up every time? Why did she let him do this to her?   
He brushed his hand through her hair and kissed her neck tenderly. It made her breath catch in her throat and he whispered against her skin, “I’ll stay in here with you if you promise to be good.”  
She smiled up at him. “Aye, Heichou.”

Kana had passed out probably close to an hour ago, but he couldn’t sleep. Just knowing she was right there beside him had his heart racing a hundred miles an hour. He hadn’t wanted to stop. He had wanted to kiss her forever. But every time he did kiss her, he wanted more. He was afraid of going back. Of opening up again and taking what he wanted without caring about anyone else.  
He didn’t want to make her cry again.  
He leaned up on one elbow and gazed down at her. He traced the line of her shoulder, picking up the few red strands of hair that fell in a mess over her body. She was laying on the side of her head that had the shorter strands of hair and he was thankful for that.  
He hated knowing that it was his doing.  
He flipped her hair up out of his way so he could tenderly kiss her jaw. She looked so fragile in her sleep. She always had. Instead of some immortal super-strong weapon, she looked like a porcelain doll that could break if he picked her up the wrong way. He let out a long sigh against her skin.  
“I wish I could show you how much I love you…” The silky strands danced through his finger tips. They seemed to melt back onto the pillow. He wrapped his arm carefully around her waist and tucked her tiny body against his, wrapping himself around her so she was protected, every inch, by him.

“Wake up, Heichou!”  
Levi rubbed his eyes and glared up at Kana who was standing beside the bed. She giggled, “You silly sleepy head. Here. I made pancakes.”  
He reluctantly sat up and took the plate from her, stuffing a forkful of them in his mouth. He grumbled, “They’re too stiff and overcooked. They’re horrible.”  
Kana gasped and glared at him. “You ass!” She picked his shirt off the ground and threw it at him. “And just cause a girl invites you to her bed doesn’t mean you can just take your clothes off, pervert!” She started out the door but gave him a playful smile back over her shoulder. “Thanks, Heichou. I haven’t slept that well in a long time.”  
Once she ran out of the bedroom, he allowed himself to smile.  
Sometimes, the risks were worth it.


End file.
